Welcome to My 30Tees: Number Nine: Perhaps Today I'll Take Responsibility

I think sometimes...we just ask for it, don't we.

I knew when I wore this shirt, it was going to bite me in the butt. Things are much easier said than done.

Perhaps today I will begin taking responsibility for my own actions.

Yesterday sucked! It sucked sooooo bad. There is not a word for the suckage I encountered yesterday. I was in a situation where my biggest personal strengths, as far as I see them...and there are not many things about myself that I am truly sure of, but the ones that I am and was, were slashed, stepped on and shewed away. Oh and it hurt. And it brought me to a standstill, leaving me lost, momentarily.

Sometimes life can get ya down. I know it does me. The last two months haven't been the most fun in the world to go through, but times get tough. And, a most difficult lesson I learned, not too long ago, is that YOU (including me) are responsible for your own actions...happiness...disappointments...and a whole bunch of other shit that you probably don't want to say, "Yeah, that's on me."

I haven't figured this one out entirely just yet, but I know I'm working on it. I know that I spent many years blaming other people for my own problems. But, you have to come to a point where you own your problems and you either make them better, or you decide to accept things for what they are. But it's your decision.

If you are in a bad relationship -- it's no one's fault but your own if you don't get out.

If you are in a bad job situation -- it's no one's fault but your own if you don't find another one.

If you grew up in a bad environment -- it's behind you and your responsible for letting that go.

It's not mom's fault. It's not dad's fault. It's not the bosses fault. Each and every one of us is responsible for our own happiness and, on the same note, our own unhappiness.

Sounds harsh. It is harsh, but it's true. I didn't want to believe it. But, after your therapist tells you something as many times as mine has, well you have to just suck it up and accept the facts.

It sucks. It's hard. But, it's worth it in the end...at least I hope. Keeping this knowledge in mind, however, might make you stop and think before you act.

What are the consequences to these actions?
Is this the best thing for me?
Am I letting someone treat me in a way that I don't want to be treated?

Take responsibility and take action.

I can't say I know what I am going to do from here, moving forward in the situations I am dealing with, but I can say this:

If I do something stupid, I'll admit it. If I make a mistake, I'll fix it. If I make a fool of myself, I'll laugh with you. But just as much as I will pick up my wrongs, I will hold tight to my rights. There are things I believe about myself that I will not allow others to crush. There are values I have that I will not compromise on. There are strengths, even within my faults, that I will bare to anyone who asks, because that is who I am.

And you know what...I am prepared to take responsibility for that as well.

Don't be afraid to be every part of who you are. It's what makes you special, unique and beautiful.