If I wanted to. I honeslty, most likely could. It's a instinct of sorts, an ability I have, the intuitive nature which allows me to very quickly see an individuals weak point. A crack in the foundation. Your tell. The worst thing you think about yourself, I could probably tell you what it is...and I could do it in such a silky black ribbon kind of way you wouldn't see it coming until -- BAM -- eloquently slashed...mortal wound.
This is my dark side. We all have one. There was a time and a place when I would use this ability to intimidate and yes, at times, humiliate. I don't anymore. I choose not to. I try not to. But I always know that I still can, if I want, which both makes me feel strong and wicked.
I'll tell ya a little story. There was a girl I worked with in college who slept with my boyfriend of the time (Completely different cheater than the first one I mentioned), whom we also worked with. It happened on the bathroom floor at a party. Disgusting right?
Well, there were many a times I made her cry. I never touched her, yelled at her, publicly humiliated her. I didn't have to, because I knew her secret. She didn't like herself very much and it was very easy to remind her of that. Subtly, but always with complete accuracy and the most amount of damage.
Now, sadly, the thing I feel worst about in this situation is that I have still not gotten to the point where i truly feel really bad about it. And that's the worst part. I may have a sliver of remorse, but probably not as much as I should, because somewhere still very deep inside of me there is something that says, "She deserved it."
Some people would never admit that about themselves. Admit that they can be cruel, sneaky, manipulative. There are probably many that would never admit it to themselves. I'll admit it. If I chose to, I could be a really good bad person. Honestly I think that it's a choice we all have to make whether, again, we want to admit it or not.
To each of our lights, there is a dark that must be recognized. If you can't see it, how can you ever begin to control it? And, I guarantee you, in each and every living breathing one of us, there is that side.
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